So, I have a rather large box of advance copies of THE CARE AND FEEDING OF STRAY VAMPIRES. And I need to give them away or my husband fusses about clutter.
In order to win one of five signed copies, give me your best tip for caring for a stray vampire in the comments section. Be sure to leave your e-mail address. The winners will be selected randomly on July 27, 2012, when the contest closes. I will announce the winners here on July 28, 2012.
(US resident only please*. And please note that thanks to spamming, I have to moderate all comments. So if your comment doesn't appear immediately, don't panic, your entry still counts.)
*As of 07-24-12, I've opened the giveaway to Canadian residents, too.
Good luck!
105 comments:
Always remember to have lots of dental floss!
Melissa
SandPMom@aol.com
Stray vampires may appear unkempt and a bit bitey, but remember, they may very well be scared, lonely, and in need of aid. I would carry a emergency kit in your car or bag for those intial moments when encountering a vampire in need of help: some synthetic or freeze-dried blood; a broad spectrum UV-proof, fire-proof body bag (for easy transport during daytime); Silver-ease (for unfortunate silver macing care); some stainless steel (not silver!) forceps (for digging out embedded stake fragments or bullets); and the number of the nearest vamp-friendly hotel concierge on speed-dial. All should fit in a lunchbox for easy storage.
Be sure to establish ground rules like don't eat the cat or use my bubble bath.
fouts_87@yahoo.com
Keep different types of faux blood on hand. Every one has they're own tastes!
Never make bite jokes around vampires. Everyone know 50% of jokes you really believe. Never say bite me for a retort.
usignolc(at)yahooDOTcom
I'd say first stop drooling on the hot vamp on your doorstep (we are talking fiction right?) then make sure to find a source of O neg. Universal pallet, I would guess...
books (dot) things (at) yahoo (dot) com
Vintage Mollydooker Type O for the relaxation, a bite guard for the undead sleepwalker, and an iPod with Biting Elbows' single "Toothpick." That should keep them happy!
Lock your door if you don't want to get snacked on... Or leave it open if you do!
Cari - carolyn dot dubiel at gmail!
Close the curtains!
Make sure to have a comfortable, light-tight space for your stray to sleep.
molly(dot)frenzel(at)gmail(dot)com
Well, I don't know that I have any more tips to add except LOVE them!!!
mlawson17 at hotmail dot com
When caring for a stray vamp, the first thing you need to do is get bottled/bagged blood. Lots of it.
onecherrysoda@yahoo.com
A gift certificate for a vist to Jane Jameson's Specialty Books for treats and reading, and a trip to Dick Cheney's for any last minute necessities.
Keep plenty of bagged blood on hand, organic if you can find it! :)
houseguestsandvampires@hotmail.com
Until you know your vampire well, do NOT feed a vampire directly from your body!
moonlightrosegoddess (at) gmail (dot) com
Don't oil the hinges on the spare coffin in the basement so you can hear them try to sneak out for an unauthorized snack.
Make sure you have lots of blood in the fridge
robinblankenship at gmail dot com
always have a frenemy come visit.....hehe
alisonblat@gmail.com
Have an alternate food supply on hand!
Can't wait to read this book!
thague(at)insightbb(dot)com
always have a frenemy come over...hehe
alisonblat@gmail.com
Oh my, I suppose I would start with new linens, curtains, purchase some straws and band aids. Quick trip for some nice juice steaks and red wine, not for me though ;)
robin(at)gobookcoverdesign(dot)com
Sunblock SPF 2000 just in case. Always be prepared for anything
Do not attempt to collar a stray vamp with a catch pole that animal control uses. The end result will be you being bitten by a vampire. A rabies shot does not fix the stupidity of this situation.
frednjennifer2004@Yahoo.com
My suggestion would be as long as you can run faster than the next guy you should be safe.
Carole
carole720@msn.com
Remember when toilet training your stray vamp make sure he does not use your razor, leave one out for him also!!
Always have blackout curtain, fancy bottled blood, and seasons six and seven of buffy.
diannebug@gmail.com
Stress that they NEVER use pets as snacks.
If you are hanging out with Jane Jameson, always expect something something to happen, and remember it's never Jane's fault. ;)
fairetopia@gmail.com
You're in luck when it comes to the possibility of catching a virus or disease from a stray vamp because well, let's face it, they are heal-l-l-thy. But you do need to worry about being lunch. Be sure to keep the ever popular blood paper in your purse (just like rice paper and still found in your local wally world). When in contact with stray vamp relax the blood papers with your pheromone infused sweat and stuff it Mr. Suck face's face!
mushu1969@yahoo.com
Don't ask if they sparkle in the sunlight. When they groan their denial, roll their eyes, and bare their fangs at you in annoyance, don't then open the curtains on them during the day time to prove them wrong!
stephr.mitchell at gmail dot com
Oops I forgot to leave my email! taghairmpyxi(at)aol(dot)com
The three B's... Blood, blackout curtains, and a bed (that is of they look anything like Gabriel or Dick)
Always warm the blood. You don't want a cold dinner, neither does your stray.
dlc1983@gmail.com
The three B's.... Blood, blackout curtains, and a bed (that is if they look anything like Gabriel or Dick)
isellpets@gmail.com
Plenty of Faux Type O...
amybpalmer@msn.com
plenty of Faux Type O
Make sure that the fridge os stocked with blood, and that all of the windows are blacked out.
Heather Mitchell
heathermitchell@bellsouth.net
Make sure to eat lots of foods that help with blood production.
giffjomi@gmail.com
Being a fan of your books & your vampires... My tips for the care & feeding of a stray one would not be PG enough for me to be posting... ;)
I think it would be important to plan ahead. Have a part of your home that the vampire would be protected from sunlight (basement, heavy shutters, etc) just in case your stray is one of the vamps that sunlight damages/kills. Also, keep a list of area blood banks handy so that you can place an order (or break in, whichever is necessary) to keep your vampire's refrigerator stocked. Also, be sure to stress that pets are not snacks. However, if he is a hottie (and if he is a romance vampire he should be) feel free to offer yourself to be nibbled on a little ;)
manning_j2004 at yahoo dot com
Oh, & my email is tdw1564@gmail.com
tdw1564@gmail.com
Blackout curtains, a pair of comfy pajamas, some soothing aromatherapy, and a few different types of bagged blood. Perhaps a guide to vampire friendly establishments in your area would also be helpful.
lovesfabromance at cox dot net
An encounter with a stray vampire? Have no fear! In this sticky situation, be sure to NOT use your womanly charms on the fine blood sucking specimen you may find in front of you. This may lead to unwanted attraction and an insatiable need for your blood. But if you are the well equipped Girl Scout, you will always have a handy bag of synthetic and/or freeze dried blood tucked away inside your car. In case of a female vampire encounter, be sure you are not doing any of the following: a.)flaunting around how wonderful being human is (that can be quite offensive) and b.) getting between her and her man (females are known to get touchy when they find a decent man to love them, fangs and all).
heyitsneeese@gmail.com
I would recommend a start of calling up my worst enemies and inviting them to dinner...and introduce them to my new friend (stray vampire) in need of a nice healthy meal. I would tell this stray vampire that size shouldn't matter, it's the taint of "sin" that should win him over. I would then care for him and tell him thanks for being such a great friend and "taking care" of my enemies.
Jennifer Moss
rsunnysmiles at yahoo dot com
Mouth wash. Enough said. ;)
Kclapsadl at Gmail dot com
If a stray vampire shows up on your doorstep, be sure to have an excuse handy to toss out to the kids why you suddenly have to go on an extended weekend trip...to a 4 star hotel...that has a hot tub. See ya Monday, kids!
Wickedchick at yahoo.com
Well, you know what they say about strays, once you feed them, you can never get them to leave again. So keep lots of bottled nutrition around, for when he starts looking a bit fangy.
PicABooh@aol.com
Drop your pets off with your most trusted vet, just in case.
First. put fliers up around the neighborhood about a Lost Vampire. Second, make him up a nice, dark spot in your home (maybe a large closet). Third, call the Vampire Shelter, to see if there where any calls about any lost vampires fitting the description of the one you found. If all goes well you'll have yourself a new vampire to call your own, and hopefully he is house broken!
Have plenty of vitamin C and iron supplements on hand.
bacchus76 at myself dot com
Iron supplements for after I get to be the entree!
Geekbymarriage at gmail dot com
Get yourself an economy size box of condoms from the big box store. ;)
Rogowski818@gmail.com
Be sure to use your good crystal when serving your vamp his blood, it is a sign of respect...and he has a very long memory.....
if it is appropriate to give your vampire a gift, try for gold. silver,not so much...
always be aware of the time factor for sunrise/sunset(no do not sing the song) you want to keep him around for a very long time.
unless you don't so in that case do he opposite.....
Remember that not all vampires will appreciate your quirky sense of humor.
1_trouble@msn.com
Whatever you do, don't open the curtains during the summer at noon!
Buy good light blocking curtains!
Megan
megan.dineen2012@gmail.com
Tip: Replacing bottled blood with tomato soup might seem funny at the time. (And it totally is) But a hungry vampire, is a grumpy vampire.
-Cara
(forgot my e-mail the first time)
peppermintgnome(at)yahoo(dot)com
Just in case you don't have bagged on hand you need to have a call list of willing friends that won't mind helping you feed your stray vampire. Fresh is better!
dsaraceni(at)gmail(dot)com
Don't forget to put the cap back on the Faux Type O bottle. No self respecting vampire wants to drink sour blood.
andrea3126@yahoo.com
Make sure to eat your spinach! You need to keep your iron up so that you can give your stray all the tender loving care he needs. That being said...I'm so mad that I promised my husband I wouldn't bring home any more strays;)
katystuhldreher@gmail.com
Go to blood.....bath...and beyond......stock up on O negative.....fluffy soft bath towels....and 5000 count Egyptian cotton sheets!!!!!.....just sayin........tomi2633@grown.net
First thing first, you will never be as awesome as Dick Cheney!
bluesun1218@yahoo.com
Only feed on those who are willing :-)
echo_hartig@hotmail.com
Just because the elderly neighbour looks frail, and you could make it look natural, doesn't mean its a good idea
I'm not very creative so I have nothing witty to say...I'll leave that all up to you in your books.
A tip I think should be enforced though, would to keep the vampire entertained and on his toes every so often. That's why I think "Happy Naked Fun Time Tuesdays and Thursdays" should be enforced. You know...for the sake of keeping your vampire happy. And if its a benefit for you also, all the better!
Thank you for the opportunity to win a signed Copy! Either way, I can't wait to read this book!
Enalen@gmail.com
I'm not very creative so I have nothing witty to say...I'll leave that all up to you in your books.
A tip I think should be enforced though, would to keep the vampire entertained and on his toes every so often. That's why I think "Happy Naked Fun Time Tuesdays and Thursdays" should be enforced. You know...for the sake of keeping your vampire happy. And if its a benefit for you also, all the better!
Thank you for the opportunity to win a signed Copy! Either way, I can't wait to read this book!
Enalen@gmail.com
Remember just because the elderly neighbour looks frail, and you can make it look natural, doesn't mean its a good idea! (to feed on them)
Just follow the steps in Encino Man, where Ugly, stinky Brendan Fraiser Caveman turns into super hot, sexy Caveman Brendan Fraiser. The same can happen for Vampires!
make sure you have a tube of 3D Crest White on hand so they can keep their fangs sparkly white.
marniecolette @ gmail
I may have posted early, but forgot my email address - lynettesurie (at) gmail (dot) com
I would take El Torrente SanguÃneo you know to loosen them up when they get cranky.
kerrilyn_paskett@yahoo.com
So many great suggestions have already been mentioned! I agree with blackout curtains, iron supplements, and maybe some warm massage oil for all his tense "muscles" :)
Thanks for the giveaway!
ehaney578(at) aol(dot)com
Make sure to have plenty of people handy for blood supply. I love your books!
Jenn
squenn91474@yahoo.com
Don't let the new vamp interact with any of his/her friends on an empty stomach to avoid embarrassing situations!
There are many tips needed to care for stray vampires. First, ensure to dispose of (or at least hide) all sugary snacks (aka chocolate). Regardless of how long one has been undead, the craving for junk food never goes away and you don't want a depressed, stray vampire on your hands. Second, leather curtains. While these may never be stylish and most likely will not match your decor, the smell of toasted vampire is worse and is almost impossible to get out of your carpet/furniture. Lastly, remember that your vampire needs lots of love and patience in this time of adjustment - don't get too mad if your cat becomes a snack (you really didn't need that cat anyway) or he accidentally spills blood on your favorite vintage shirt.
Kassie
kassie.knoll@gmail.com
Lots of bags of blood and lots of patience. Having a stranger staying with you can really put a strain on a new friendship/ relationship.
Thanks for the giveaway, really hope to win a copy :)
Aberlynn21@yahoo.com
Have an understanding, in-the-know dentist on speed dial and several back up plans in place in the event of blood loss. Of any sort.
vaderfangirl(AT)gmail(DOT)com
Close the curtains and light light a few candles. ;)
No biting....unless they are male and sexy then bite with caution.
Make sure you have plenty of blood around even if you are letting them sip from you.
You must have thick curtains or a windowless room for them to rest in during the day.
And if you are feeling naughty then a comfortable bed for the nights....
thebooknympho AT gmail DOT com
First, I'm off limits (at least till we get to know each other)
-All Pets are off-limits!
-No critique my books,music,and/or dvd collection!
-Clothing can be optional(I mean if you have a body like a greek god/statue flaunt it!)
-All forms of Hygiene is a must!
-If I can't cook with Garlic, you have to stick to bottle blood!
-No House parties or Roman orgies!
-I promise no Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Blade, if you promise no Soap Operas/Telenovleas!
-No turning friends or neighbors into your personal Igors or slaves! I think that covers everything for now, we can make up the rest as we go along.
Christina huntress023@hotmail.com
Have a refrigerator stocked with blood for him and food for you.Have thick curtains to keep the sun out and save him from accidentally burning. After he is taken care of use witty comments to lighten the mood.
karibitters@gmail.com
Always have these things on hand in case of housing a stray vampire:
. Plenty of sunscreen
. Mouth wash
. Bottled or bagged blood
. Copies of all the books in Jane's series so the call can learn what to and not to do, while also enjoying some good laughs
ryssadennis@gmail dot com
Keep the silver out of sight for courtesy but...hide some around the house to keep it handy.
elizmedina5@gmail.com
Need to be sure to have blackout curtains in the bedroom and a good supply of blood for him. Make sure to warm it before giving it to him.
mythic021@gmail.com
Keep a supply of dark curtains and warm blood.
Thanks for the chance to win!
Jen
lratrandom@gmail.com
To a Stray Vampire the words "They bit the big one" have a very different meaning.
Brokensandal@hotmal.com
Stray vampires have a tendency to "lose" touch a bit so when encountering one for the first time it would be best to treat them as if they were the local pit bull from a neighbor's yard. Leastways, until you find out if he's been fed recently or not. ;- )
- Jenn
angelheart36@yahoo.com
keep blood and floss handy and sunproof the house
pammitchell0227@gmail.com
When caring for a stray vampire make sure your give them a copy of The Guide for the Newly Undead. also make sure you have plenty pho type O, dental floss and SPF 500 sunscreen.
Rachel Carlson
RCarlson_1980@yahoo.com
Turtle neck sweaters are a girls best friend. Keep temptation out of sight!
acade29@gmail.com
If you want to keep him, feed him well and often and he's yours for life. Just make sure you keep agood supply of iron pills for yourself.
R. Vance
rsvance1@gmail.com
Approach with caution, have blood ready, toothpaste and toothbrush, and get the shower started. Then when he's good! Have some yummy fun!!!! He will be a stray no longer. lol. Aliciaddenise@yahoo.com
I haven't seen my comment from before posted so I am going to try again since I love your books!
Make sure you have a light tight room for them to sleep in during the day.
Also I posted before to not let friends and family know you are taking care of a stray vampire because they just wouldn't understand. They would only try and tell you your business.
dianat7@gmail.com
Keep lots of food handy, make sure to read the guide, dont buy cars with sunroofs just in case.. and invest in a whitening tooth paste to avoid awkward conversations about the stains on your fangs.. lol
alainala@hotmail DOT ca
(thanks for opening it to canada!! fingers crossed)
While happening upon a stray vampire one needs to proceed with caution especially if one is human, depending on if you want to be bitten or not. An emergency kit in your car is a good idea, with lots of faux blood, medical supplies, sun proof body bag for travel during the day is necessary. Also I would have some kind of silver protection not every stray vampire will be a friendly one. if you are bringing them into your home you will want a light tight guest room for them with all the vampire necessities toothbrush, dental floss, ect. I'd also carry the local Representative phone number to inform them of your find and encase of emergency with your charge. Keeping extra clothes for yourself and in various size would also be a good idea generic black sweat pants and t-shirts. I think that is all I can think of.
First things first- make the stray vampire watch this clip from Yo Gabba Gabba. "Don't, don't, don't bite your friends! Bite, bite, bite? No, no, no!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6UWNA-WQgI
;)
caseyhimmelsbach@gmail.com
I'm EVER so late to the party. Having heard about the books for such a long time, delighted to have enjoyed your work so much!
michelle-cornwall@tiscali.co.uk
(yes, I do have a US address)
I so mis-typed my email.......which is so par for the course for my day.......on the bright side it is Friday......correct email is tomi2633@gotown.net
When taking in a stray vampire always make sure he or she does not have any enemies lurking near by who will try to take you as a hostage and will try to use you as a bargining chip or pin cussion depending how your stray vamp feels for you.
Sherita72@yahoo.com
Faux bottled blood and a light tight sleeping spot. Make sure to stress rules like "they live here too, don't snack on them".
bluegreen_7@yahoo.com
I'd have to say before taking in a stray make sure he isn't feral, and if he is make sure it works to your advantage;). After that bring him in and provide a good home complete with light tight rooms and plenty of faux blood on the ready.
blackrosedragon8@yahoo.com
keep a well stocked fridge of bagged blood, also don't go sun bathing, it could turn rather crispy and burnt.
You must have a generous supply of synthetic blood,an assortment of vampire toiletries, a spare dark bedroom, black out curtains through out the house, cellphone, books,cable and internet to keep him informed and be prepared for a lot unexpected drama when his enemies try to attack and lastly be armed with plenty of weapons. Be mindful of their sense of smell. bluepooh1@hotmail.com
Invest in black out curtains for your guest, lots of fresh blood and make sure to not have had any recent meals at Olive Garden out of courtesy....no one wants garlic breath hanging around!
Courtney
Stiletto Storytime
I would make sure to hae plenty of sun screen available. Brush up on some new drink recipes, and a handy dandy storage area in my car for daytime transport.
Laura
wolfina@aol.com
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